I think I'll make it a point to reopen this. It's as good a venue as any, and if I call in some help to stay on task and keep striving forward maybe it'll show some progress too.
I've now worked for 4 years after graduation, at a fun though stressful job that doesn't actually have any future direction. That is as a field service tech/engineer at Sky-Skan Inc, and while it brings plenty of technical and practical challenges, it absolutely just feels like idling. So I now find myself trying to guess how much longer I'll be able to keep working here, and trying to decide what to do next.
An opportunity passed by me not too long ago; not to say I didn't jump at it, but a combination of being out of shape at interviewing and what should have been some core technical skills meant I got the interview (where Green Andrew had used to work) but wasn't too impressive about it. I am trying to not consider it just a courtesy interview, but in the end I didn't get it and that was that. Regrets but no hard feelings.
But next... try for another job? Could be one that is less mania and less travel, chances for better pay and upward motion and learning actual applicable skills. (How is it that I feel like I've gotten through these last four years having hardly learned/grown at all??) (Draw connection here between my feelings about innate vs striven for talent and success.)
I don't think I can take a break completely; I don't see myself making good use of that. But I definitely want to revisit goals and skills and develop them more, possibly in the 1-2 year future, and then make a big jump at something... whatever it will be... that actually holds a real desire for me.
To that end, I want to try opening this blog again as a works-in-progress showcase for various projects. Programming, electronics, mathematics, astronomical... I'll try to develop that list soon. And then post as I start, struggle with, and complete them - turn it into a showcase and portfolio.
Just the first few ideas, things that have been in the works (or just in my head) for a long time:
Capacitance calculator program
"Cylon" LED strip (arduino)
Subaru info/awd interface (arduino)
Rework some of the A-calc derivations and identities
Practice formatting/viewing GIS data
and we'll see what else.
Thanks for your attention and support - you know who you are :)
10 June 2016
21 May 2010
end of sophomore year
It's summer? Really? I'm still accepting this revelation. But, regardless, it is here. Now, deciding what i'm going to be doing for the next couple of months; here are some of the highest points on that list:
- make-for-you obligations (thank you, Facebook-of-a-year-ago)
- capacitor combination program
- sort/clean out all the stuff I moved home from school (damn, i have alot of random shit!)
- reinstall Ubuntu/Windows, and redesign my data storage solution(s)
- decide what i'm doing in the fall
and then, some less important but still nice-to-do:
- get job
- get better in shape
- start (/finish) a Project
- or two, or three
- more stuff here?
Yyep. Will post detailing on them as stuff gets started.
Feel free to pester about that top 5 list... i'll probably need it!
\V/
- make-for-you obligations (thank you, Facebook-of-a-year-ago)
- capacitor combination program
- sort/clean out all the stuff I moved home from school (damn, i have alot of random shit!)
- reinstall Ubuntu/Windows, and redesign my data storage solution(s)
- decide what i'm doing in the fall
and then, some less important but still nice-to-do:
- get job
- get better in shape
- start (/finish) a Project
- or two, or three
- more stuff here?
Yyep. Will post detailing on them as stuff gets started.
Feel free to pester about that top 5 list... i'll probably need it!
\V/
27 April 2010
Xenophobia
Sometimes the only thing that keeps me from heading out to cleanse world with a set of bludgeoning instruments is the thought that, on some level, it would be no better than
them.
Oh, but when those thoughts finally grow too weak ...
them.
Oh, but when those thoughts finally grow too weak ...
20 October 2009
Reorganizing
Looking back, I'm noticing I haven't really separated psych-introspection writings from things more relevant to the world. Moved those which didn't have comments attached to Minas Ithil (link in profile), starting another there too.
Maybe fun stuff here soon.
\V/
Maybe fun stuff here soon.
\V/
27 May 2009
Projekt
So the last piece of the project that's been in planning since December just arrived in the mail. Now, all that's left is soldering... and learning to do that properly.
The timeline flies something like this:
August - I move to college. And start liberally using my debit card online >_>
Early that semester - I again find the "blu-ray laser phaser" video on megavideo.
December - First laser (blu-ray PHB-803 type) arrives. I still can't find exact specs online about power or load
Winter break - Jack loans me a Star Trek phaser to "properly" modify
March - found graphs on LaserPointerForums made by people pushing their own to limits. Looking for the best driver to order.
Late April - order adjustable driver from Rkcstr; delayed in shipping due to inconveniences on the seller's end; he includes two 803 sleds as compensation ^_^. Driver looks good.
Experiment - can a laser pointer be mated with an iClicker?
Answer: Yes. Yes, it can.
I begin to disassemble Jack's phaser.
Hm... definitely space to expand in there...
And the handheld unit. Possibilities for that, too.
The timeline flies something like this:
August - I move to college. And start liberally using my debit card online >_>
Early that semester - I again find the "blu-ray laser phaser" video on megavideo.
December - First laser (blu-ray PHB-803 type) arrives. I still can't find exact specs online about power or load
Winter break - Jack loans me a Star Trek phaser to "properly" modify
March - found graphs on LaserPointerForums made by people pushing their own to limits. Looking for the best driver to order.
Late April - order adjustable driver from Rkcstr; delayed in shipping due to inconveniences on the seller's end; he includes two 803 sleds as compensation ^_^. Driver looks good.
Experiment - can a laser pointer be mated with an iClicker?Answer: Yes. Yes, it can.
I begin to disassemble Jack's phaser.
Hm... definitely space to expand in there...
And the handheld unit. Possibilities for that, too.
17 February 2009
Fuck, college is hard.
Well, no, not specifically.
It's what you make of it.
You come in ready to work, to read and learn and practice stuff, and you'll do fine. Keep caught up and you'll thrive. Yeah... except that's not what I've been doing.
I can't, just can't turn on that 'study' mindset. I can no longer just hear something, see it demonstrated, and then internalize it(speaking physics, math specifically). I don't know where that went; if it was a lack of practicing, or just the fact that the material was in fact getting harder, or most likely some combination of the two.
All I need to do is read. I need to catch up on Multi and Diffeq (missed a couple lectures, want to be back on track.) I want to reread what we've covered in physics, out of the book, to try to understand the theory behind it all better before there's too much to do that for. And I need to work on chem... I just can't stand doing chem work. Its interesting, because it's a science, and naturally can explain the workings of reactions and such exactly. I just get sick of doing the same calculations over and over, and can't stand memorizing all the little things, like whether a positive or negative sign means exothermic, and don't get me started on organics. Organic compounds is *all* about memorizing what they each are, ... not for me. I'd rather spend time deriving stuff. Example - Brian showed me how to use Euler's Theorem to derive half angle and double angle and trig addition formulae, and it's brilliant. Everything really is connected, you just need to find where to look.
That's the beauty of physics, and math to me. It's not just isolated logical arguments and equations that you plug stuff into and get answers. It's, all of it, connected, in a thousand different ways. You can learn a way to get from A to B. But then you learn how to go in ways besides in a straight line. And then you learn to go through C, and that C can take you to either A or B, and then after all that they teach you to jump between them, out of the dimension which held you so strongly (so you thought) before... The rules that give shape and form and function to everything that exists in the universe, it's possible to look at them, and manipulate and intertwine them, and learn something new. And when it works, it's all so elegant and efficient... Sure, there are things that are still beyond our explanation, but new ideas get formulated and thrown around every day. I can understand why those who seek a Unified Theory are so intent on their work... and why they are sure such a thing exists. It just feels natural. (This all only refers to that which is physical/ observable/detectable. I make no remarks towards the human or divine or metaphysical or psychic here.)
But so, back on track, my recent crashing.
It feels like I'm always playing catch-up. With every class. And yes, the classes are catalyzing this. But then i start to drift off into other thoughts... but avoiding doing that here. So I've said plenty already about not doing practice homework, or trying to just get by without reading, or the like. I feel it, I know it is in my power to fix everything. I just come up grasping and impotent - is that it? helpless.. yeah - against it when I try. And I can't blame anyone but myself; most recent example, this weekend until now. Came back from Saratoga Saturday, rush to dinner and band and back. That night, start doing physics notes. Got some done; made some connections, got my outline; it was good. Need physics and chem done for tuesday, multi and diffeq for wednesday. have a schedule, have two whole days off between now and then, good enough. But fuck, what the hell happened? Was up late Saturday, don't remember doing what, so Sunday woke up later that I'd like (why do we need to sleep, really? It's fucking inconvenient; I mean every bit of that when I say it. We get tired, we get sloppy, we lose the motivation to do stuff... and then we sleep, and oversleep, and/or wake up feeling unrested and go through the next day in a vague stupor, and then it just never ends. And yes, I realize I'm writing this as I stay up past 3 for the second (third? more?) night in a row. Fuck, again. That's the sentiment.)- anyway. Sunday woke up late, did stuff aimlessly for a bit, argh, got food, actually got work done in Commons (its the only place I've found so far I can concentrate and be productive. And of course I'm there, so I'm inclined to eat, which is not the best impulse), but so I left there hoping to just find a sunny spot and crash with a book and finish the physics. Didn't happen. Union was a bust, Quad was useless, by now it's some hellish hour. bleh. Well, not hellish, but more time got wasted. You can see how Sunday ended. Then Monday, slept till 1130, hoped to still salvage the day, and work the rest of it. But that fails, as I don't leave the room till nearly 4.
And speaking of, it's 330 now. {massive cursing] monday was suppsed to be the day with nothing to do, to get back on track with it all. that went to fucking hell. just from getting NOTHING done. four hours of work the whole day. It's useless! I get sidetracked, and distracted, and let myself talk to people. I can't block people out totally. Sure, if I don't know you, I can manage to be beastly to you for a bit. But, otherwise, that gets interfered with by the fact that I feel you deserve to be treated like a human being... gdamn humanistic whateverthehell. Though, I have been much closer lately to just telling people to just go away, that I just don't want to associate with anyone. Well, not even don't want to; can't afford to. Until I figure out how to actually do stuff, and not shit around about it, I don't trust myself to knowledgably get into some other conversation or what. And I'm breaking down in grammar now. and, yes, I realize the irony of me talking about wasting time on crap while I write this. This was only prompted because I just could not manage to concentrate on a damn thing tonight. Maybe the solution to rooming next year is to put in for a single. If i get a reasonable lottery number I will just do that. To be with Mike again is breaking even; same status quo, he's cool with Jay, we don't stay up to chat late or play games all the time or whatnot. But I get endlessly distracted, and can't learn to control that unless I run off. To be with Aaron, well, sure I get along with him and Lauren, and both of us are down with having Jay/Lauren over for the night; we'd find somewhere to run off to. But I know I woudl never get a thing done. I can't go there. And Jacob, well, I don't know how he would react to having Jay spend nights, but I most likely would be able to get work done; we stay up late and lose hours, but it's a different feeling than I get from the thought of rooming with Aaron. But, still, I don't quite trust myself. So I'm deciding now to go for the single, unless my chances are absolutely shot. in that case, well, we'll see what things happen by the end of this year. And, other goals for this term - whether or not I apply transfer to MIT next year I am placing wholly on my grades and classwork this term. So far, HAHAHAHAnofuckingway. I want to get everything up to (and hold) an A- at the least to apply. That does not look likely. details later in this, on topic. Just declaring that with the rest, though.
okay, NOW GOING. UPDATES LATER OR LONTANO. BYE.
It's what you make of it.
You come in ready to work, to read and learn and practice stuff, and you'll do fine. Keep caught up and you'll thrive. Yeah... except that's not what I've been doing.
I can't, just can't turn on that 'study' mindset. I can no longer just hear something, see it demonstrated, and then internalize it(speaking physics, math specifically). I don't know where that went; if it was a lack of practicing, or just the fact that the material was in fact getting harder, or most likely some combination of the two.
All I need to do is read. I need to catch up on Multi and Diffeq (missed a couple lectures, want to be back on track.) I want to reread what we've covered in physics, out of the book, to try to understand the theory behind it all better before there's too much to do that for. And I need to work on chem... I just can't stand doing chem work. Its interesting, because it's a science, and naturally can explain the workings of reactions and such exactly. I just get sick of doing the same calculations over and over, and can't stand memorizing all the little things, like whether a positive or negative sign means exothermic, and don't get me started on organics. Organic compounds is *all* about memorizing what they each are, ... not for me. I'd rather spend time deriving stuff. Example - Brian showed me how to use Euler's Theorem to derive half angle and double angle and trig addition formulae, and it's brilliant. Everything really is connected, you just need to find where to look.
That's the beauty of physics, and math to me. It's not just isolated logical arguments and equations that you plug stuff into and get answers. It's, all of it, connected, in a thousand different ways. You can learn a way to get from A to B. But then you learn how to go in ways besides in a straight line. And then you learn to go through C, and that C can take you to either A or B, and then after all that they teach you to jump between them, out of the dimension which held you so strongly (so you thought) before... The rules that give shape and form and function to everything that exists in the universe, it's possible to look at them, and manipulate and intertwine them, and learn something new. And when it works, it's all so elegant and efficient... Sure, there are things that are still beyond our explanation, but new ideas get formulated and thrown around every day. I can understand why those who seek a Unified Theory are so intent on their work... and why they are sure such a thing exists. It just feels natural. (This all only refers to that which is physical/ observable/detectable. I make no remarks towards the human or divine or metaphysical or psychic here.)
But so, back on track, my recent crashing.
It feels like I'm always playing catch-up. With every class. And yes, the classes are catalyzing this. But then i start to drift off into other thoughts... but avoiding doing that here. So I've said plenty already about not doing practice homework, or trying to just get by without reading, or the like. I feel it, I know it is in my power to fix everything. I just come up grasping and impotent - is that it? helpless.. yeah - against it when I try. And I can't blame anyone but myself; most recent example, this weekend until now. Came back from Saratoga Saturday, rush to dinner and band and back. That night, start doing physics notes. Got some done; made some connections, got my outline; it was good. Need physics and chem done for tuesday, multi and diffeq for wednesday. have a schedule, have two whole days off between now and then, good enough. But fuck, what the hell happened? Was up late Saturday, don't remember doing what, so Sunday woke up later that I'd like (why do we need to sleep, really? It's fucking inconvenient; I mean every bit of that when I say it. We get tired, we get sloppy, we lose the motivation to do stuff... and then we sleep, and oversleep, and/or wake up feeling unrested and go through the next day in a vague stupor, and then it just never ends. And yes, I realize I'm writing this as I stay up past 3 for the second (third? more?) night in a row. Fuck, again. That's the sentiment.)- anyway. Sunday woke up late, did stuff aimlessly for a bit, argh, got food, actually got work done in Commons (its the only place I've found so far I can concentrate and be productive. And of course I'm there, so I'm inclined to eat, which is not the best impulse), but so I left there hoping to just find a sunny spot and crash with a book and finish the physics. Didn't happen. Union was a bust, Quad was useless, by now it's some hellish hour. bleh. Well, not hellish, but more time got wasted. You can see how Sunday ended. Then Monday, slept till 1130, hoped to still salvage the day, and work the rest of it. But that fails, as I don't leave the room till nearly 4.
And speaking of, it's 330 now. {massive cursing] monday was suppsed to be the day with nothing to do, to get back on track with it all. that went to fucking hell. just from getting NOTHING done. four hours of work the whole day. It's useless! I get sidetracked, and distracted, and let myself talk to people. I can't block people out totally. Sure, if I don't know you, I can manage to be beastly to you for a bit. But, otherwise, that gets interfered with by the fact that I feel you deserve to be treated like a human being... gdamn humanistic whateverthehell. Though, I have been much closer lately to just telling people to just go away, that I just don't want to associate with anyone. Well, not even don't want to; can't afford to. Until I figure out how to actually do stuff, and not shit around about it, I don't trust myself to knowledgably get into some other conversation or what. And I'm breaking down in grammar now. and, yes, I realize the irony of me talking about wasting time on crap while I write this. This was only prompted because I just could not manage to concentrate on a damn thing tonight. Maybe the solution to rooming next year is to put in for a single. If i get a reasonable lottery number I will just do that. To be with Mike again is breaking even; same status quo, he's cool with Jay, we don't stay up to chat late or play games all the time or whatnot. But I get endlessly distracted, and can't learn to control that unless I run off. To be with Aaron, well, sure I get along with him and Lauren, and both of us are down with having Jay/Lauren over for the night; we'd find somewhere to run off to. But I know I woudl never get a thing done. I can't go there. And Jacob, well, I don't know how he would react to having Jay spend nights, but I most likely would be able to get work done; we stay up late and lose hours, but it's a different feeling than I get from the thought of rooming with Aaron. But, still, I don't quite trust myself. So I'm deciding now to go for the single, unless my chances are absolutely shot. in that case, well, we'll see what things happen by the end of this year. And, other goals for this term - whether or not I apply transfer to MIT next year I am placing wholly on my grades and classwork this term. So far, HAHAHAHAnofuckingway. I want to get everything up to (and hold) an A- at the least to apply. That does not look likely. details later in this, on topic. Just declaring that with the rest, though.
okay, NOW GOING. UPDATES LATER OR LONTANO. BYE.
25 January 2009
So this is the new year
Welcome to 2009!
I haven't really posted in here... so you've noticed, I'm sure. Alot going on around here, in college now at RPI, second semester just began, should start coming back here, have had alot of long chats in my head that i want archived, but will work on that some other time; while I know that if I start writing here I will put loads, I sort of want to do part of the physics homework so I feel less guilty about skipping the help sessions and leaving some unanswered last time, and so to placehold I will just provide a list of the currently open tabs in Firefox I have for your browsing pleasure (and procrastinatory stimulation).
And, with the exception of this window, so it follows:
Facebook, video of Nancy singing the National Anthem in 8th grade
Facebook, Nancy's note highlighting workplace harassment
Undercity, a website about tunneling and urban exploration
Youtube - "Hot ice" - aqueous sodium acetate, crystallizes nearly instantly
Youtube - "supercooled water" - how to make ice
Youtube - "burning green laser" - how to 'overclock' one
eCost - cheap, wireless, color video camera
Margin - a story linked from Brian's AIM away message
Graduates - webshow, a group of episodes done by graduate students; linked by Brian
SMAF - schedule for the Saratoga Springs Martial Arts festival
Last.FM - their "Presidential Inaugural playlist"
FreeRice - an awesome way to fight hunger
Fafsa - Free Application for Federal Student Aid
RPI Ballroom - lesson schedules
The Foolish Dictionary - satire in lexicographical form
ActioNext - another web radio site; deserves a mention for keeping your playlist running while searching for new music
LJ - '1200 Things Mr. Welch Can No Longer Do in an RPG" - provided by Jacob
Hero - a webcomic I plan to get through sometime soon; from Nancy
Rkcstr - selling laser drivers and power regulators
NewEgg - nice price for 320 gig laptop internal
NewEgg - 500 gig internal (I'm thinking of swapping my RPI-provided one)
Woot.com - cool stuff cheap, once per day (thank Dan Hill)
Sheldon - webcomic of kids and geekdome; from Krista (Will catch up one of these days...)
Remarkable - about "The Curious Sofa" by Edward Gorey. Think what you will.
Instructables - "How to solder"
Wikipedia - (Will just list links here)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norse_mythology
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Runic_alphabet#Common_use
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meta-ethics
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Life_of_Pi
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zensufi#Zensufism
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orange_Catholic_Bible
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unitarian_Universalism
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cirth
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unicode#Input_methods
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discordian_calendar
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darian_calendar
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Der_Ring_des_Nibelungen
(Yes, I get far too interested in reading about arbitrary topics)
Hulu - The Dresden Files episode archive
CBS - Star Trek: the Original Series archive
GalaxyZoo2 - massive online research analysis project ... about galaixies!
Empire (previously Deep Angel) - cool tech idea, nice movie concept; sadly, hasn't made it yet in the last 3 years.
PaperStarships (old forum) - papercraft models discussions. Mostly Homeworld.
PaperStarships new boards - refreshing, retopicing, and getting the home site back online!
Skidmore College: Mary Crone Odekon - department head, contact in case Ronald Mallett comes to RPI
Yes, I have 46 tabs open lol. Shut up, my firefox pwns you. Get these extensions:
session savers, and the like. Now I'm back to where I was, filled-in-forms and all, in 2 minutes after a crash. Yes, it owns you :)
And as for other stuff I'm distracted with... IMing nancy, brian, ryan... reading/looking over phys2 homework, having chem notes open for the quiz tomorrow, skimming my first character sheet, digging through old pictures, not yet showering, and eating M&Ms. And who said men can't multitask? >_>
Ok, off till later. Byes!
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